1. Trump Decries "Sad" and "Weak" UNSC in Video Message
The UNSC Chairs
7 June 2022
MAR A LAGO, FLORIDA – In a surprising move on Tuesday, former President Donald Trump lashed out viciously at UNSC deliberations on the South China Sea tensions.
In a move likely foreshadowing his 2024 presidential run, he released a pre-taped video message surrounded by two American flags at his Mar-a-Lago residence. In it, he adopted a tough-on-China approach, attacking UNSC countries for being "insufficiently loyal" to the US despite all the sacrifices the US has made for them.
"Just when you think Sleepy Joe's presidency couldn't get any worse, the delegates he nominated to the UNSC decided not to turn up. Now, China and Russia are walking all over the council, getting concessions from other countries rewarding their bad behaviour," he thundered in a remarkably coherent speech with dramatic gesticulation.
"All discussions must be fair to the United States and to the bedrock principles of international law. It is so sad to see the UNSC even consider amending the status quo in a manner that would give China more strength. Xi and Putin must be gloating at this weakness!”
The former President has received broad bipartisan support for his speech. Senator Marco Rubio (R-Florida) remarked with a grin, “Trump is back!” Democrats begrudgingly threw their support behind the speech as well, with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA12) observing “even a broken clock is right twice a day.”
The Biden White House has not responded to requests for comment.
2. China regarding the Sudan issue be like: "We have done A LOT for Sudan, but we are not doing enough!!!" 😇💪
Delegate of France, HRC
09 June 2022
We're not really sure why this is here.
3. To SCMP with Love(?)
Delegation of China, UNSC
10 June 2022
South China Morning Post, your job is on the line, say something nice about us. - Lots of love, China.
Mention something about South China Sea. You sat in the council for 2 days straight, China loves media coverage.
4. To the Editors with Love
Qing Jiying
10 June 2022
Dear Editors,
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING SO AWESOME!!!!
Lots of love,
Pravda
Awww.